Wine Rating Scale
As much as we at GB enjoy wine, we feel there should be a way to recommend good wine. Something like a rating system, or a way to score the wine based on its attributes. Quite frankly, we are surprised that no one has thought of this. Sometimes you just have to put down the glass and pick up a pencil!
Our tastings and reviews will not be based on the first glass of wine with a swirl-sniff-sample-and-spit, followed by a frank discussion of the content’s merits. We won’t contemplate the growing conditions for the vintage or search for existentialism in a bottle. Instead, we intend to “drink” the wine with a meal and evaluate both while the bottle is being emptied. Our motto is “One cannot discern all the nuances that the wine has to offer until the second, third or subsequent glass”. There it is.
While we here at GB refuse to compromise our values, we have been known to do so for a bargain.
Here is the tool used to vet wines we review. A single page that is chock full of character and flavor descriptions. This sheet even works for both reds and whites (we try to save paper, trees, ink cartridges, fruit stickers, floss, etc. so that we consider ourselves “carbon lite” – an eco/sustainable term, if you must know – reuse the tasting sheet as a place mat or bib to absorb the drippings).
Please adhere to the following GB guidelines for tastings:
1) Uncork, unscrew, pop the bottle cap, or open the box of the wine to be rated and pour about 1/4 to 1/3 of a glass. Play the part. “Be the reviewer”. Grab the glass firmly with authority and swirl, sniff, swirl some more, observe its color, sniff, look pensively off in the distance, ignore your wife’s comments, taste, gently swish in your mouth and swallow! Try to keep the wine inside your body. Don’t let any come out of your nose or dribble down your chin. If this seems like a lot to remember after the third glass or so, stop, breathe and drink normally. Sometimes this approach works best.
2) Recall that GB personnel and conscripted tasters are encouraged to rate the wine on the second glass (el segundo vaso). This allows the wine to breathe and lets the reviewer eat. Oh, eat something when tasting and remember it is the wine/food thing that makes the experience noteworthy. If you just want to drink, grab a beer or single malt scotch or something in between.
3) Grab a pencil and begin jotting down your thoughts, on the wine! There should be plenty of room on the sheet for a thorough review. Don’t hesitate to circle all the applicable characteristics. You don’t have to circle just one item per line. For example, “It smells like vinegar and wood, cedar I think”. The “cedar” comment can be scribbled in the margin or napkin or tablecloth. However, a “flabby” and “firm” body description is somewhat oxymoronic.
4) Don’t forget the final assessment. Review the Gluttony Boys Wine Rating Scale if necessary. Once you have completed the sheet, you will now have an appreciation for all the hard work that we at Gluttony Boys suffer through to make sure the blogging public is well informed. Do with the completed sheet as you will. We save ours. They may come in handy someday such as when we paint the GB offices.
Food Rating Scale
We will refrain from proposing an analytical approach to rating meals because the food was either tasty or not. Plain and simple. The fact that we included the fare in a posting means that we had high hopes for gluttony. Nevertheless, the following describes our food recommendations: